I Realize ...

Swiped from Golfwidow (http://www.golfwidow.net/), who I seem to swipe things from quite frequently:

I've come to realize that my exes didn’t suck nearly as much as I said they did. Nor did I suck as much as I thought I did. We just sucked for each other.

I've come to realize that I talk to the ferrets as if they were people. I sing to them too. Both my ex-husband and The Boyfriend have witnessed me singing “Hey hey we’re the weasels, and people say we weasel around” (to the tune of “Hey Hey we’re the Monkees, of course.” )I sing badly. The Boyfriend, unlike the ex, has neither begged for earplugs or threatened to have me committed. I think its true love.

I've come to realize that I love a life I always thought I’d find boring. Adventure is overrated when it is all you have. I will take day-to-day commitments, the security of home, and loving and being loved over what I once thought I wanted any day of the week.

I've come to realize that I have serious issues with authority and conforming to other people’s schedules. Neither issue is particularly healthy for my career. Then again, I often think my career isn’t particularly healthy for me.

I've come to realize that I lost my fear of confrontation and/or not making other people happy. A year of divorce, losing a lot of loved ones and finding myself taught me not to sweat the small stuff.

I've come to realize that I hate it when I can’t do what I want to do when I want to do it. It’s that whole conforming to other people’s schedule thing again.

I've come to realize that marriage doesn’t necessarily mean love and love doesn’t necessarily mean marriage. They can go hand-in-hand or be completely exclusive of each other, depending on the people involved.

I've come to realize that, somewhere, someone is thinking that there’s gotta be something more. And they’re right. I just hope they don’t lose sight of what there already is while they’re trying to find it.

I've come to realize that I'll always be both happy I’ve taken the paths I’ve chosen and regretful about what I may have missed by not choosing other roads.

I've come to realize that I have a crush on … hmmm. I haven’t developed any new crushes lately. I have gotten over my crush on Bill Cowher – him all suited and tied and doing the pre-game thing just isn’t the same as the spitting, cursing coach he once was.

I've come to realize that the last time I truly cried was when yet another he-should-be-here-for-this moment hit me and I realized yet again that the friend I was thinking of can never be here again. It has been well over a year since he passed away, and that makes me realize that those moments might never go away, and maybe they shouldn’t.

I've come to realize that my cell phone is as much of an inconvenience as it is a convenience. Especially when I forget it’s on and in my pocket and it rings in the middle of a meeting.

I've come to realize that when I wake up in the morning I will write, almost every day, and doing so will keep the workday ahead at bay for just a little while.

I've come to realize that, before I go to sleep at night, feeling The Boyfriend beside me, either curled around me or side-by-side, and saying “I love you” just before drifting off into slumber really does keep bad dreams away.

I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about the Steelers playing the Ravens on Monday and the fact that I really should go get laundry out of the dryer, which makes me think I’ m not nearly as deep and philosophical as I’d like to believe.

I've come to realize that babies are wonderful, precious and adorable, but that not having ever had one come out of me doesn’t make my life any less meaningful than that of someone who has been through labor and sworn for just that pain-meds-can’t-touch-this moment that she’ll never have sex again.

I've come to realize that I get on MySpace … well, I really haven’t in forever. I’m too easily bored with popularity contests.

I've come to realize that today, I am so much better off than perhaps I’ve ever been.

I've come to realize that tonight, I will come up with ideas for 800 things to write about, and all but one or two of them will have vanished from the brainwaves by morning.

I've come to realize that tomorrow, I will get a good-morning kiss and a cup of coffee, and really, what more can you ask for in life?

I've come to realize that, I really want to be a writer as much to break away from a daily grind kind of life as to get my words out there in the world. And, unlike the idealistic young journalist-hopeful I once was, I’m totally OK with that.

I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost this is — I dunno. I wasn’t supposed to repost it, since Goldwidow specifically un-meme’d it. Once again, proof that I just don’t listen to directions.